My Last First Kiss (hopefully)

I know my last few posts have been about recent happenings with tennis, since that is all that has been on my mind as of late, but with Valentines Day rapidly approaching I wanted to sorta tell the story of how the person who has made the best 5 months and 16 days of my life possible. Right now as I am typing this she is lying asleep in my bed. I would be snuggled up next to her falling asleep with her in my arms like always but I seem to have a case of insomnia right now.



The date was August 29, 2008, a Friday, around maybe 9 p.m. I was sitting at my computer desk, with my laptop open with headphones on listening to some music. My roommate Kyle, had a few friends in the room watching t.v. I didn't want to but in and be a kill joy to his new friends so I mostly kept to myself for the most part. Then a girl came down and walked into our room a little shy like. I later found out this was the roommate of the girl hugging my fridge.(not literally but it's an inside joke) I saw her enter the room out of my peripheral vision and instantly I had to do a double take. She appeared and after gazing upon her ,I had to force myself to look away so as not to stare and come off rude. Well a few minutes pass and they decided a trip to Wal-Mart sounded fun(in Defiance this is the most fun thing to do while bored, sad I know). So I asked if I could tag along since I had nothing better to do until I had to help my cousin situate her dorm room as she also goes to Defiance.



While at Wal-Mart I came to know these new people a little better and started to talk to them more and show part of my true wild and fun side but I didn't want to show them all of it as it can get out of hand. Well I'll call her Beautiful for now as I have not learned her name yet, also came with us. The whole time there I was trying not to make myself look like an idiot like I tend to do almost all the time and make and a good impression on her. We started off in the entertainment section and I thought it would be a good idea to see if I can find any good movies I could impulse buy at a good price.(Later they all found out I tend to do this a lot) Well a good half hour or so went by and I had to leave in order to make it on time to my cousins, as I told her I would arrive at a certain time to help her out. So I had to leave all of Kyle's new friends and Beautiful for now, somewhat relived, as now I didn't have to worry about making a fool of myself.



After helping my cousin with the final touches on her room, I head back slowly hoping that maybe my roommate's new friends were gone, especially Beautiful, so I didn't have to make myself look dumb in front of four new strangers, and they all happen to be girls at that, and not one of them bad looking. Well I get back to my dorm room and alas, my usual luck kicks in like always, they're in there watching one of my all time favorite movies, The Blues Brothers. I took one quick sweep of the room and noticed that Kyle was on his bed with one of the girls next to him. I was somewhat relived that it wasn't the one I call Beautiful for now, because this meant to my knowledge that I could still have a chance at getting to know her better, in a non-rude sort of way. Continuing on with the "sweep" of the room my eyes came upon a nice looking girl sitting propped up on my fridge where she was before Wal-Mart. Directly in front of me sitting up against my closet doors was another good looking girl. Finally I found her, sitting to the right of the previously mentioned girl, up against my other closet door under the Corona Soccer ball was the girl I had my eyes on. Disappointed I couldn't sit next to her, I took a seat on my bed and watched the movie. Every time a scene I thought was funny I would check to see if she too was laughing. Every time she was, and this made me feel great, as I found out we shared the same type of humor. Getting a little braver, I started making conversation with her about the movie and quoting some of my favorite lines, as I have a knack for remembering movie lines or jokes. With each re-told joke she would laugh along with all her other friends making me feel more secure that they all found me nice and at least funny. So after the movie ended thinking quickly on my feet, I offered another movie that I prayed she would find funny, it was always one of my most favorite movies, Ferris Buellers Day Off. With great luck she had never seen this movie before and I knew she would enjoy it. So we were about to put it in, when a miracle happened, the girl to her left, sat up and walked out of the room. So I put the movie in and very very very timidly sat down next to her as casual as possible. She seemed to not even notice I was there. That could have been a good thing though, as I just about flopped down out of nervousness. The movie went on and we all shared laughs at Matthew Broderick's antics as he dodged another day of school. About midway through after holding conversations with her and growing more comfortable around her I went in for my first real move. Ever so slowly I moved my hand toward hers in hopes she would respond. Well my hand ever so slightly touched hers and just as fast as it had grazed her hand I pulled mine back, out of sheer nervousness. A few minutes later I re-tried the attempt, and this time sorta held my hand there as if hers was in the way of mine and just left it there. So there we were sitting, hands touching but not really doing anything for me, besides creating an awkward moment. Again several moments went by and this time I knew it had to be a real attempt this time. No more sissying out and trying to play it off as an "accident." This time I pulled my hand up to hers and locked my pinkie finger around hers. She turned to me and gave me a quick smile and then went to watching the movie some more. I was sure I was interrupting the movie with my heart, because it was racing faster then my dads Viper and even more loudly. Doing a quick check I noticed it was only me who noticed this. Getting a little bit braver our hands became more then just pinkies but a nice little palm in palm but not finger locked. we stayed like this until the movie was over. I asked her what she thought of it, and to my relief she replied that it was now one of her new all time favorites, just like mine.

Well after that movie Kyle offered one of his and mine favorite movie, The Boondock Saints. So we put the movie into my Xbox 360 pressed play and again sat next to each other, but without the hand holding at first. Maybe ten minutes in I once again moved my hand toward hers and again we held hands palm in palm style. About two-thirds into the movie I took one deep breath adjusted my hand and slowly started to lock fingers with hers. I was nervous and practically sweating, but she turned her head back to me smiled, and accepted the offer. My entire body shook and I got that "warm fuzzy feeling" that you get. Finally it was the first move toward possibly dating this girl I was rapidly falling for.

Well the movie ended and we all decided to call it a night. Sense we all became friends that night, we all decided it would be fun to have a college "slumber party" if you will and sleep in my room. Trying to be as courteous as possible I offered my bed to Erin(finally found out her name). She gladly accepted and I left her to it starting the night sleeping on the floor. About a half hour went by and I couldn't get comfortable. The thought of maybe sharing my bed with Erin came to mind, but I instantly thought otherwise. After several more minutes lying on my hard dorm room floor I thought, well if she was willing to hold my hand it could be worth a shot. I got up and ever so nervously stumbled my way over to my bed tripping over everything, and got within whispering distance of Erin. I don't think I have ever been so mixed up with emotions ever before in my life. I was above all nervous as hell, anxious, and fearful all at the same time. Very nervously I asked if I may join her on my bed for the night, as I could not fall asleep on the floor. What seemed like decades on end, she finally said one word that made my heart soar, yes. I climbed into my bed with so many mixed emotions I was a train wreck.

To start the night in my bed I was completely balled up on the far end of my bed as far from Erin as possible so as not to come off like a pimp or something. Maybe five minutes that seemed like five days passed, and Erin and I were just laying there staring at each other with a smile on both of our faces from total opposite ends of the bed. Not one word spoken between the two of us. Thinking I couldn't possibly get any more messed up emotionally, I slowly crawl my way towards her. Responding to this, she crawls towards me and there we are face to face laying in bed just staring intently into the others eyes. Now my heart beating even faster and louder and my body trembling and whole body sweating like I'm crossing the finish line of a 5K marathon or something, I slowly close the gap between my lips and hers. Hanging my head there for what seemed like twice my lifetime times one-hundred, she finally leaned in and pressed her lips to mine ever so softly. At first, not realizing what just happened I'm not really kissing back. Then after a quick second I regain my composure and kiss back putting all my effort into not screwing this up. It was right then and there to this second of me finishing this typed sentence, the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. At that very moment I believe I have meet the one person whom I hope to be with forever.

I Love You Sweetie.